I don’t want to make the other days jealous, but I’m crazy about you.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
The first thing my dad did to fight his wicked cough was send my brother in search of Fernet Branca. This 80-proof Italian liqueur is known for its medicinal qualities. My mom believes the liqueur’s extreme bitter taste makes you forget whatever it is you suffer. Though my dad would never say it didn’t work, after several nights of sipping on spiked tea, he bought a bottle of over-the-counter cough syrup.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
I find it so endearing that my grandfather, who will turn 91 in June, just bought the book, “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life.”
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
When the choice is between giving up or digging deeper, maybe things aren’t falling apart but falling into place.
Monday, April 26, 2010
My dad looks puzzled when he sees me in front of a lighted, magnifying mirror with tweezers in my hand.
“This is how I make myself beautiful,” I explain.
Ever clever, he quickly suggests, “A mask would also help.”
Sunday, April 25, 2010
These video readings by Kelly Corrigan made my heart swell. How lucky am I to have both dreams and friends.
If you are totally hooked (like me), find more Kelly Corrigan here.
(Thanks to Kelly Rae Roberts for sharing this not-to-be-missed good stuff.)
Saturday, April 24, 2010
We didn’t really do any running. But last weekend my mom, sister and I became Mermaids at the all-women 5k event in Mountain View.
My favorite part was walking and talking with my sister (my mom totally ditched us), and my second favorite part was cheering on the athletes – the ones actually running.
In high school, my sister was a real cheerleader, and I like to think I’m one at heart.
As women ran by us, giving it their absolute all, we would shout and clap and yell, “Great job! Keep it up! Looking strong! Way to go!”
I wish we had pom-poms. It was so much fun.
As an added bonus, even though we went as slow as snails, we got a super-cute T-shirt, tote bag and a finisher’s necklace.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Sometimes I wish life was all about enthusiastic beginnings and sweet, happy endings. The middle can be tiring.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
I finally made one of Nigella’s recipes on Sunday. It was her mother-in-law’s Madeira cake, the first recipe in her cookbook, “How to Be a Domestic Goddess.” I underbaked it. But that hasn’t stopped me from eating a slice for breakfast every day this week.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I have this vague memory of learning a little church song when I was 4 or 5 years old about God holding us in the palm of his hands. I must have been in preschool. Like most children’s songs, it included hand motions, and I can almost see my tiny hands cupped in front of me to show how God holds the world.
JJ Heller’s song, “Your Hands,” is like a beautiful grown-up version of that little nursery rhyme. I heard it for the first time this weekend. And since I don’t believe in coincidences, I wasn’t at all surprised when I happen to read this yesterday:
“No one can take them out of my hand. … And no one can take them out of the Father’s hand.” ~John 10: 28-29
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Me: “My eyes are swollen from allergies.”
Him: “You need to take something for that.”
Me: “I did take something. Herbs from Pharmica.”
Him: “Love, that hippie stuff isn’t going to help you. You need to man up and take some real drugs.”
Monday, April 19, 2010
Here’s to crushing it, killing it, hitting it out of the ballpark. This is going to be a good week. I can feel it.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
“They went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing. When it was already dawn, Jesus was standing on the shore.” ~John 21: 3-4
We all have days and nights of catching nothing. Not a fish. Not a break. But Jesus waits for us on the shore no matter the outcome of our adventures.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Regarding my Beauty Experiment, this week was a bust.
My magic questions – Am I hungry? Am I full? – did not do the trick, and I found myself often eating when I wasn’t hungry. The scale, which has been slowing creeping in my favor, started to move in the wrong direction.
Part of me wants to just give up. But because I have declared this an experiment, part of me really wants to ask more questions and figure this out.
In the several weeks before this week, I felt mostly calm about eating whatever I want when I was hungry and stopping when I was full.
Some kind of unfavorable internal shift took place because I did not feel calm this week. I felt anxious and worried. If you are an emotional eater (which I am), anxiety and worry are not your friends.
In fact, if you are an emotional eater, any feeling could send you straight to the fridge. But feelings are a part life, and if they are causing me to eat when I shouldn’t, what I need is a new coping mechanism.
Friday, April 16, 2010
If you have trouble remembering control is an illusion, don’t worry. Life will remind you.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Him to Me: "I'm sorry you got crapped on today, my love. That sucks."
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
If you are saying prayers today, please say one for baby Christianna.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
My brother kept insisting I had his copy of Nigella Lawson’s, “How to be a Domestic Goddess.”
I kept insisting I did not.
Finally, I thought I would be super clever and actually look for the book.
I found it hiding among all my other neglected cookbooks. It’s probably been there for three years.
Tragically, I’ve never even made a single one of Nigella’s recipes.
My brother says he’ll make me photocopies of anything I want to try, but I have to return the book.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Me to John: "Last night I think I dreamt we were fighting the devil. Tina Fey was there. She was on our side."
Sunday, April 11, 2010
We are flawed and broken and burdened.
You are not.
You are perfect and whole and generous.
Your love is limitless.
Your mercy knows no bounds.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
In the last seven days, I’ve had six social events to attend.
If I was on a traditional diet, I would have not lasted through the week. I would have given in to the temptation of delicious home-cooked food enjoyed in the company of family and friends. I would have cheated on my diet and then I would have quit.
But before any of that, I would have amped myself up with anxiety about each of these events. What should I eat? What should I not eat? How much should I eat? Would there be enough vegetable sticks to keep me from devouring a whole cake? (You get the picture.)
Thankfully, I am not on a traditional diet. I am on an anti-diet. As a result, I get to skip all the drama and boring questions.
Instead, I ask myself only two questions: Am I hungry? Am I full?
When the answer to the first question is yes, I eat whatever I want until the answer to the second question is yes.
It really is so much fun. I hope you try it.
Friday, April 9, 2010
I wasn’t kidding about the importance of joy. It’s the sixth day of Easter. For heaven’s sake, get happy.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
As Simon & Garfunkel sang on the TV tonight, my dad was surprisingly sentimental. My sister and I spent our teenage years listening to the folk music of the ‘60s and ‘70s. It just never occurred to me that the records we were playing belonged to him.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
How do you feed your soul if beauty is what you crave?
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Lent is 40 days long. Easter is 50 days long.
Joy outranks suffering.
Monday, April 5, 2010
I’m not sure which was better. My mom’s Easter feast, which she spent 48 hours preparing, or my dad trying to teach my 90-year-old grandfather self-defense using his cane.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Jesus, you turn night into light, and our hearts sing Alleluia.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
I have a goal (completely separate from weight loss) to be moderately fit. I don't plan to be a triathlete, but I would like to climb the hill near my house without being sore for a week. In the past, I have approached this goal with strict and strenuous workout schedules requiring me to wake up before the sun. If my body doesn't ache than my head does for lack of sleep. My efforts last 7 to 10 days, and then I come down with a cold.
Since that has never, ever worked for me, my approach this time is different. My new approach is gentle, to say the least. I walk on the treadmill, and I don't judge myself for my snail's pace. I don't have goals for how many miles I must complete or how long I must workout. When I feel like working harder, I do. When I need to take it slower, I do.
I listen to mood-boosting music, and I sing along with Taylor Swift or I pump my arms and dance. (I can do this without public humiliation because I have a treadmill at home.) By the end of 20 or 30 minutes, I feel good, happy, optimistic. I feel like exercising is something I would want to do again because I have removed all of the punishment from it. And if I can keep exercise from being punishing, I might be able to reach my goal.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Let all negativity disappear. Focus instead on a God who is near.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Realizing I totally slacked on my March goal to “give or throw away at least 31 items,” I stood in my bathroom for 30 minutes last night and tossed 55 tiny things. I think I even saw the empty lipstick I wore to my best friend’s wedding 10 ½ years ago. I wanted to remember the name, so I could buy a replacement, but I never did.
Do you know how many times I have moved in 10 years? I can’t believe these useless things traveled thousands of miles with me. These items were so small all 55 barely filled one-quarter of the garbage bag. But I could use less junk in my life, even if I have to throw it out a tiny bit at a time.
I managed 12 short-and-easy workouts in March, which is not as many as I hoped. But it’s a new month, and a new chance to start again. And I did hit the treadmill this morning.
So here’s to April and to never giving up even when it makes us look like a fool!